You know you’re ‘UPT’ when … 30 Things to know about Uptown Jamaicans
If you didn’t know, yes there are in fact two 'Jamaicas', or maybe three: uptown, downtown and the rest of Jamaica, also known as 'country'.
Today, Loop Entertainment is having a little fun as we describe 30 things only ‘Uptown Jamaicans’ say or do, yes these are all stereotypes and not intended to be taken seriously – Enjoy .
You know you’re uptown when:
- You complain about the quads and off roaders on the streets of Norbrook on the weekend- They are so annoying!
- You shop most definitely at Loshusan Supermarket or in Manor Park (One of the centres of UPT Life)
- You vacation in Trinidad during the carnival season.
- Your parents speak a sort of “demi-patawah/patois”. They speak with a ‘Motty Perkins accent’.
- You go to Blow by Blow to get your hair done, as it is way too long to wait at another hairdresser.
- You enjoy cocktail parties at the Regency.
- You often retreat to the Strawberry Hill Hotel on the weekend for brunch.
- Your workout spot is either Gymkhana or the Spartan Health Club.
- You receive a receipt for your ‘hemp’ aka ganja.
- You have a ‘helper’s quarters’ and you consider 'Millicent' a part of the family.
- Bacon, eggs, and pancakes are a standard breakfast.
- You always prefer to watch a blockbuster at Sovereign and not Carib 5.
- You’ve heard downtown is a more affordable place to shop.
- God forbid you miss a day of yoga at Chai Studio. You'd go completely mad!
- You complain constantly about the state of Jamaica but would rather chill on your yacht than vote.
- You prefer to visit Maiden and Lime Cay, by way of yacht, to soak up the sun
- You shop for all your clothing abroad, usually Miami.
- You never rock weaves, but rather prefer to have hair extensions
- You enjoy electronic dance music and EDX - it was awesome!
- You attended Hillel or AISK - God forbid you mix with 'ordinary folk.'
- You turn your nose up at people who ‘bleach’, and instead, visit the dermatologist for chemical peels - those awful brown spots!
- Kale and Quinoa are the “it” foods, can’t live a day without them.
- You hardly watch local television- it’s too depressing.
- Skiing and hiking are some of your favourite past times.
- You say things like, "Jamaica is so pop dung" and constantly make comparisons to other places you visited on vacation.
- You’re distraught about the recent police killings of African Americans in the United States, but are unconcerned about similar matters in Denham Town. Where is Denham town anyway?
- You would never be caught dead on the JUTC. Where is the nearest bus stop ?
- The only taxis you know are from the On-Time taxi service.
- Half Way Tree is the furthest 'south' you’ve been.
- The best part of the local newspapers are the social sections. I can’t believe so-and-so made Page 2 again!